I have many questions I like to ask of my friends, new friends and potential partners in life. But one of my favorite ones, and one that seems to be provocative, is “What are you healing in yourself”?
It takes a strong sense of self to be able to unpack that question. To do it without picking yourself apart piece by piece and to be kind and loving as you pull apart fragile wounds and bring light to what needs healing. However, it takes almost radical self-acceptance to be able to admit these things externally if you have not done so in the past.
I found that once I was able to recognize the parts within me that are raw and unattended, I became less triggered by people and situations.
I recognize I am wounded, but my wounds do not mean I am not whole. The places within me that have been damaged are part of what makes me ‘Noelle’ and they certainly do not mean that I can’t be healed or remedied. What I have found is that those parts of me that have been harmed have come back stronger, more resilient and more compassionate than before. My strength doesn’t close me, it softens me; it’s made me more wholehearted.
I am healing the girl in me that felt she needed to be strong, closed and hard to become someone that would be taken seriously. I am healing the place within my heart that feels creating intimate relationships means I have to give up my power and my ability to trust myself. I am healing the lacerations that come from feeling I am not worthy enough (for love, for good friends, for financial stability, etc); these are wounds that stem from not having had the support I needed as a young child. I am healing from years of living with the chronic anxiety that left my nervous system so rocked that just engaging in the world felt like I was constantly on a battle field.
The places within me that I am healing are multi-layered. I am not afraid to admit they exist because I have become more affectionate with myself and thus with others. I have been working on those parts of myself for a while. They are not new to me and they no longer dominate my life. But I do have to contend with them and at times nurture and take time to hold myself; I remind myself they are not the places within me that hold power any longer. I remember that I am strong in my gentleness and that I am able to stay strong while engaging in the dating world. I have come leaps and bounds in building my ability to feel worthy in my finances, my friend relationships and my ability to give and receive love.
In those parts that we are healing is where we build durability and tenacity. As the great Sufi poet Rumi wrote, “ The wound is the place where the light enters you”.
Where is your light beckoning healing? Where is your body speaking to you? What are you biggest pain points?
If there is a situation that continues to arrive in your life over and over again, one that you are ready to move past, this is an opportunity to look at what needs healing. It can be jarring when we first witness those places within, but I implore you to be kind hearted and gracious with yourself as you move through this.
So much love
Noelle
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