Do you ever feel like you have big dreams or ideas, but you are overwhelmed by the lack of support from your inner (or even outer) circle? Sometimes finding the support we need in our own communities can be a daunting task.
Maybe you have a mentor, someone who encourages you to take risks — your own personal cheerleader who supports you when you need it. If this is the case for you, this is amazing! You have someone in your life who believes in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. Celebrate that. But it is also worth practicing being your own cheerleader, so that when your mentor/supporter can’t be there, you have the inner skills to push beyond your own limiting beliefs (either self-imposed or otherwise).
I have had to learn to be my own mentor, my own biggest supporter. I didn’t have anyone whispering sweet support in my ear as I made my plans and took on new goals. I took risks at a younger age, and chose to follow my passions instead of following the crowd. It wasn’t easy. I would often second-guess myself. I could hear people judging me, telling me that I couldn’t do something I wanted to do. I used to get frustrated — so frustrated — and it’s the frustration that led me to move forward with my plan. I was (er…am) stubborn enough to be pushed to ‘prove’ them wrong.
I did, however, limit how often I would take risks because I was afraid of being judged. I no longer feel that way. I now understand that no one else creates my life, only me. Anyone that doesn’t support me isn’t worth holding onto; they take energy away from me instead of allowing me to be myself.
Here are some strategies that I have learned to push beyond my limiting beliefs:
1) Learn to love challenges. If you do not want to move out of your comfort zone, maybe you should stop here. The only way your ideas are going to grow and take action is if you are willing to get uncomfortable, and learn to get comfortable with being challenged. Learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Not the discomfort that comes with doing things for other people, but the kind of uncomfortable that swells when you don’t know if you are going to fail. When you get scared because there is no proof there will be a positive outcome. That kind of challenge. That’s when you need to start being your own inner cheerleader.
2) Be your own cheerleader. You have to learn to feed your mind with positive self-talk. The best way to do this is to write down all the positive things that you would like to hear. Be as detailed and as clear as possible, and keep these notes with you. When you find yourself sinking into self-doubt, pull out the list and recite it to yourself; just keep doing it. Even when the voice within tries to call you an idiot for doing so.
3) Be OK with being challenged or being told you can’t do something. If there are ‘nay sayers’ around you, you are going to have to practice two things: shift the topic of conversation if they want to tell you why you can’t do something, and if this doesn’t work, you are just going to have to end the conversation or hang up the phone — politely, but as firmly as possible. AND you need to understand that it is their limiting beliefs speaking to you. I choose to let go of words that are designed to disempower me. It isn’t an easy practice, but it is my practice. If someone is saying something that is not supportive, I choose to let the words go, not fixate on them. I file them in my inner ‘trash can’ so I can’t pull them out later as a reason to listen to my insecurities.
4) Set goals and dreams for the future. Keep replaying these dreams in your mind, and allow yourself to move toward them so you are not just dreaming, but creating your dreams. These will be the small steps (with the odd big jump), the many small steps, of your journey. But if you are taking steps, you are moving toward your goal. Goals may change over time, and that is totally OK.
When we learn to follow our own courage, we can step away from negative voices more easily. When we learn to support ourselves, we no longer rely on people outside of us to help create our success. We can learn to quiet the perspectives of others, and tap into our own inner frequency — the most potent guidance we can receive.
love,
Noelle
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