It is frustrating when others aren’t behaving the way we would like them to, isn’t it?
Perhaps it is a colleague, who seems to be consistently undermining your work. Or it’s your kids, who never listen to you. Maybe someone close to your heart is making decisions that bring them pain, but no matter what you say, they don’t heed your advice. Possibly it’s the person in the grocery lineup ahead of you, who is talking to the cashier and slowing everyone else down.
There are so many examples of others not behaving the way we want them too! When someone isn’t behaving the way you want, do you react? Do you lose your patience ? Do you tell them all the ways they are inferior? Do you silently swear at them in your mind? Do you tighten your whole body and wish everyone just responded to the world the way you do?
If you find yourself having inner battles over other’s responses to the world, it’s time to look a little closer at your own expectations of yourself.
It could be that you have very little self acceptance and you are unable to be kind to yourself. Self acceptance is a way of life; a practice of mind, body and spirit. In the yogic traditions it is called Ahimsa, translated, “non violence towards self or others”. I also refer to it as the practice of Miatri , or self love.
Acceptance of self means learning to be super kind on the inside. Are wondering if you are kind to yourself? Spend a day listening to, or even journaling, the things you say to yourself. Would you be embarrassed to have your dearest friend listen to or read the inner dialogue that plagues your mind everyday?
The people that agitate us, that are difficult for us to tolerate, are the ones that can show us the ways we are intolerant of ourselves.
Self acceptance work is BIG work. It means accepting all the parts of you, including the kindness and gentleness you offer to the world, your generous spirit, and your body, as well as your lack of patience, your need for perfection, your tendency to keep busy and your self-defeating thoughts. Self acceptance is the seer of ALL. It gives you permission to see and experience yourself without needing to change. It is recognizing the things you would like to change, and allowing them to exist as they are.
Self acceptance is the most important step toward the radical acceptance of others. It’s radical because you learn to accept those who have big struggles and who live their lives opposite to the way you choose to live yours. It’s radical because it goes against your social and political views, and because it forces you to consider the way you judge others. It’s radical because it’s not easy, but it softens your experiences of the world.
The people we need to accept the most are those closest to us: lovers, kids, friends, and family. If you want to achieve radical self acceptance of others, you MUST first feel it with yourself.
The practice of self acceptance will not only change your life, but profoundly impact the lives of those you love the most.
with love
Noelle
P.S If you find these messages beneficial, please help me share my message. Forward to a Friend, Follow my blog, or share on FB.