“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
To forgive is one of the most challenging things we can do. Holding onto resentment often feels ‘right’, as though holding onto it gives us permission to be hurt. We can convince ourselves that the person who hurt us must not be forgiven because if we forgive, we would be saying, “It’s OK that you hurt me.” The thing is, the only person that is hurt when we don’t forgive is ourselves. Truly. No one else suffers more deeply than us.
Sometimes our friends and family suffer because we carry our hurt like a badge honoring our pain. We may have the illusion that convincing our closest allies of our pain will help protect us and make the offender suffer. But that is not true. I have learned that my allies tend to turn on me when I spend too much time reasoning why my (perceived) enemy should become theirs, too. Even if you don’t feel this resistance from your friends, trying to convince others that someone should be shamed will bring you more pain and more loneliness; you’re moving from your smallest self when you’re leading a charge like that.
Not forgiving is wanting for a different past. However, it is 100{3975b397d65b169f60fde16aa32381cbe23165fba47bc12e3c15bc0cabdca183} impossible to go back in time, What is possible is to create the future that you want. If you want to have wholehearted connections and to not feel bound and contracted by your pain, forgiveness is the only way. Forgiveness truly sets us free. It delivers us from our own evils, and from the stories that bind us and keep us small.
Forgiveness is a deeply generous offering to our own journey. Forgiveness says, “I know I was hurt, but it is time to let it go. Not because I am forgiving the behavior or event, but because I am choosing to forgive a being for my own salvation.” The less hurt we hold in our own hearts, the more we will be able to offer ourselves, wholeheartedly, to the people and things in our lives that truly matter.
Less pain = softer heart
Softer heart = room to grow into the bright lights we are meant to be
Bright light = peace, both for ourselves and for those around us
It’s all a matter of choice. I have held onto pain so tightly, I couldn’t breathe. It dictated all of my relationships and experiences. It confined me and kept me small. Once I started to forgive, I had the tremendous experience of living lighter, of literally glowing from the inside out. Of being more at peace, and less at war.
There is so much war on this planet. If we want that to change, we literally have to change the inner wars raging in our hearts. We need to soften to ourselves, to choose a different experience. Forgiveness is not easy, yet once we choose to forgive, it is amazing how everything gets easier.
Forgiveness releases tension, softens stress and has tremendous healing powers.
Trust me, whatever you’re holding onto is worth letting go. The freedom is all yours to experience.
Forgiveness is freedom.
with love
Noelle
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