Flow: the word pulls visions of ease, peace and the path of least resistance. I hear this phrase being used more and more. People seeking to live in the ‘flow’. I am unpacking this word in my own life, figuring out what it means to me and how can I actualize it in my life. Intuitively, being in flow feels like something that is just happening and not something I have to make happen or force. It is an organic way of being; for example, a river forges its path without having dialogue with itself about where it should travel. It simply travels the path of least resistance. As a paddler/guide for many years, I spent a month at a time on the river. I learned a lot about the simplicity of not forcing an outcome. The effortless way of the river is beautifully poetic as the water hums in constant movement. It requires deep surrender: if you fight the river you end up in the drink. If you move with it and allow it to carry you artfully and support you as you meander its challenging features, you will gracefully move downstream.
So how does this tie into our own lives? Flow is something that is happening, it is ‘us’, but most of us are consistently pushing, forcing and battling against it. We even try to control those around us by telling them what they need to be doing to be in the flow. We compare our own flow to the way someone else is experiencing life. When we do this we are not flowing, we are controlling. Big difference. How sweet is it to support and love someone as they find their own path? This is my ultimate goal. To allow those in my life to choose their own path. I used to be incredibly controlling and opinionated about how others lived their lives. I was so potent in my opinions people would essentially back away. I would harass any calm in my life by fixating on what someone else was doing. I made it my mission to create my version of the best outcome.
Over time I learned that was a completely ineffective way to be in the world. I need to be free in my own life in order to live and make mistakes and have successes and forge my own path. I need to find my own flow. When I allowed that same privilege to those around me, I became more peaceful and, ironically, more flow naturally occurred in my life.
When we have flow in our lives we have less conflict. We can navigate challenging situations because there is an understanding that life is about finding solutions even when it feels like there isn’t one. With that mindset we don’t fall apart in a heated conversation. We can smile and take a moment when met with something that disrupts our sense of calm. But flow also means that when we come off balance we are able to allow that instead of fighting it. There is an effortlessness to being in flow and it will show on our faces. Our eyes and words are kinder and we don’t need anyone to be anything but who they are. It doesn’t mean that you need to surrender your life over to people you are not keen to be around. It means you allow them to be themselves without needing to take authority over them and their choices. It means you let go and find the ease is in your own life.
Where are you able to flow in your life? Where have you been forcing for so long that you feel exhausted from it?
It doesn’t make you less of a person to be in a forceful stage of your life (I have spent a long time there myself). But it is worth considering if this is where you want to stay. Is it bringing you into alignment with how you want to live your life, or is it feeling super challenging?
As always, please share your thoughts with me. I love to hear from you.
“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life” Eckhart Tolle
With love
Noelle
Join me in Mexico in Feb 2020!!
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