Our culture has become much less about serving and sustaining our community, and so much more about being seen and showing off. People are self focused, less connected and more depressed; it is a culture heavily intoxicated with people who are building the ‘self’ instead of creating a future based on how they can be of service to others.
For many years I had a linear focus about success and being happy. It revolved around what I could accomplish and it focused on serving ME. I only thought about what it was that I wanted to accomplish and my own desires. I would get frustrated when the people in my life (family, friends and work colleagues) would not show up for me the way I wanted. I was self-entitled and constantly comparing myself to others, always seeking to be better than someone else. If I felt better then someone, I would try to make them feel small by the way I spoke and acted around them. If I felt smaller (which was more often the case), I would hide myself and outwardly judge their successes. I was unsupportive, and this created a sense of discontentment and disconnection in my life.
The people in my life that are struggling the most with showing up for themselves are often the ones that take the most energy to be around. They struggle with low energy, low motivation and unhappiness. They often think of serving themselves first. They believe that what they need or desire is most important. Or they believe that other people need to do for them or show up for them as a measure of their supported. Those who are always thinking about themselves never imagine what someone else is going through (i.e., putting themselves in other people’s shoes), and they regularly feel like their story is the most important. As a result, they are unable to be there for anyone else. Either they are unable to serve others, or their service is loaded with expectations of needing to receive something in return (recognition or commodity).
That used to be my behaviour. I changed it by following a few different practices, and I evolved into a different version of myself when I started making a conscious effort to practice these principles on a regular basis:
- If someone is generous to you, reciprocate by being generous to someone else in need.
- Start your day with a simple prayer or mantra that goes something like, “how can I be of service today?”.
- See every encounter as an opportunity to share your love. It can be as simple as a smile or a hug. Offer to be of service. Ask someone how they are doing and create the space to listen. Any random act of kindness will do. It means we have to look up from our worlds and be there for others.
- Have a daily practice of gratitude. I had to stop running from thing to thing in order to actualize this practice in my life. I needed to get quiet. Breath in the fresh air. Smell flowers or my daughter. Gratitude is a practice that evolves and imbeds itself in you; you become more grateful for the small things the more you pay attention to the things you are grateful for.
In order to actualize being of service to a higher authority, I needed to make the act of serving others a priority in my work and in my life. I had to instill a non-negotiable daily practice. ‘Non-negotiables’ are the things you need in your life to feel supported and healthy so that you can give generously. Personally, I need are to get daily exercise, sleep eight hours each night, eat healthy meals and take time for quiet meditation or contemplation. When I give myself these things, I have the energy it takes to tackle the world. I can support others and give without wanting anything in return. When I am depleted in those areas, I struggle by becoming very self-focused. I begin to think of me and my life, and how I need to be supported. My world becomes small. When I can take myself out of myself, I am able to see how showing up in my life directly impacts my ability to give. Teaching yoga is another a way that I consistently show up in my own spiritual practices, while showing up to support others. Even when I am tired.
I believe we are in a revolution of consciousness. We are awakening to our potential, and our society is changing so fast. We are developing an emotional intelligence that is not like anything we have ever experienced before. In order to tap into our potential as a culture and a society, I believe we need to find ways to get outside of our own heads and lives. This will help us actualize a world that is kinder and more inclusive. Instead of forcing and fighting, we can find ways to merge our commitments in order to being of service. You are here for a reason. Do you want that reason to be dissolved because you are consumed by the ‘self’, or expressed because you are interested in being of service?
I know most of you are already offering yourselves in huge ways; and for those of you that are supporting your communities, a big, heartfelt “thank you”.
With love, Noelle
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