Is anyone else noticing the shifts happening around us? Is anyone feeling that there’s something altering the entire ecosystem? The ethos of all the cultures on this planet are shifting, old models are no longer serving this new world and things are changing from small towns to whole countries. Rage is rattling the earth in ways that are both seen and unseen – from ecological events to emotional breakdowns.
Cancel culture is ravenous, boundary setting is being thrown around like a tumbleweed in a windstorm. It feels like everyone is carving their own line in the sand and trying to keep people on the other side. There’s much fear out there and worry about taking care of our own micro settlements. Managing our success has been quantified by who we can tear down on our way up the proverbial stairs. Chasing our own dreams has led to an inability to see the big picture because our gaze is focused on our own path.
We’re utilizing social platforms to feel powerful, posting images that are endlessly edited and curated to emphasize how beautiful life is, and creating illusions of individual utopian lives. Fantasy is pushing people to crave the very things that are fake and chasing perfectionism is fracking our ability to see clearly.
I’ve had some interesting encounters at work lately. I’ve noticed a lack of humility and I’ve seen people demand recognition for doing the basics of expectations, wanting opportunities without earned experience. Some of these interactions have been rugged and border on aggression.
The consistent cord that travels through all of it is distance. The further we get from others, from the truth, from living and breathing how and why people are making their decisions, the more controversial we’re becoming. We demand that others see what we see, and expect recognition for just showing up.
I have thought about our cancel culture — pondering the proximity to those we want to cancel. Have you noticed that those who tend to create a conversation around why someone or an organization is wrong are typically people who have a lot of distance from said person or company?
It’s easier when we’re distanced; it feels easy to have disparaging opinions of what others are doing, who they are, and make grand judgements on their intentions. I’ve done that, looked at someone from the outside and thought, not for me. I’ve judged someone for their choices without having any backstory or substantial information.
I’m questioning whether this new world we’re living in, one that empowers with information but lacks discernment, is the world we want to continue to build.
I’m not sure we’ve ever lived in a world where people were more curious. Have we always been reactive? We lived in a world where people were more connected to each other intimately, not that long ago, and when we wanted to find information we actually had to speak to someone. Email didn’t always exist, and even when it did people phoned each other frequently. Only recently has our communication moved to the touch of our fingers, and we’re mostly using those tools to share and gather information. We’re losing so much context, intonation, and emotion through that.
The thing is, if we want to be proactive about the direction humanity is moving, we have to start with small acts, not big ones. How we treat each other, how we see each other, what we say about others, how we connect with others, and the language we use with others matters so much.
One of my biggest weaknesses used to be thinking that my only job was to take care of myself. To find ways to light my own candle or “find my own purpose.” What I’ve learned is that focusing on myself and my own perspectives only made me sadder and disconnected from others.
Using the things that light me up to support others has been the largest contributor to keeping my candle burning. Using my light to light up others has not only been healing, but it’s brought joy and contentment to my life. But I’ve had to look at the ways I wanted (and want) to diminish others — I’ve craved doing that to people who’ve caused me pain, who’ve experienced the successes I wanted, who’ve lacked integrity, and who’ve shown up in ways that are unkind.
If I truly want to be a part of creating a more loving and kind world, I have to stop extinguishing people’s lights. I have to allow others to negotiate their own demons and struggles without contributing in negative or nasty ways. If I want people to be kinder on the internet then I have to be kinder and forgive those who have caused me pain. much as I struggle with that, that is where my work is. That is where all our work is. It’s not about battling some unknown person on the internet, it’s about making peace in our own micro worlds. Stop using your mind-space to wage battles with others, avoid trying to put out people’s light.
If we look closely, we might actually start to understand ourselves more. We may actually develop more compassion for our own insecurities, for our own fears, and we might actually start to withdraw our desire to tear down others and focus our energy on building each other up.
xo, Noelle