Busy! What is so bad about being busy? Can it ever be a good thing? Or is it always associated with manifesting stress and anxiety? The question really is, Has being busy become a culture for you? Or a status symbol? Meaning, does ‘busy’ make you feel worthy? That you have something to live for? Or are you busy because you have a lot going on in your life? Perhaps that is creating a new business, or raising kids, or completing a school degree? There are countless ways life can get ‘busy’ when we are balancing goals and when we have dreams.
So ‘busy’ is not necessarily a bad thing. How healthy it is depends on your underlying reason for being busy.
‘Busy’ becomes a problem when we are taking care of others, working, dating, socializing on media, doing chores, making ‘to-do’ lists in order to avoid stopping and being still. ‘Busy’ is a problem when it prevents us from feeling or connecting with what has been going on inside of us.
Having a full life feels good. However, watch for the desire to keep so busy year after year that you become disconnected from yourself. If the very idea of being alone or quiet with your thoughts sends you into a stress reaction, it is time to regroup and slow down. Learn to ease off of constant stimulation, and formulate a gradual plan to reacquaint yourself with yourself.
Are you busy because life is full at the moment? That’s OK, just watched the desire to keep the busy going when your life starts to slow down.
Sometimes, however, being busy can be a useful coping strategy. If you are dealing with a personal crisis that is short term, not long term, being busy can be part of your healing. It can allow you to slowly unpack all that you are feeling. Staying occupied so that you don’t have to be in the throws of your feelings is a very reasonable strategy. Keeping yourself from having to unpack massive pain in one foul swoop is actually part of taking care of yourself. I‘m not suggesting you avoid all your feelings, but absorbing big challenges in bit size morsels can prevent you from completely unraveling. This may be part of your healing process, one that allows you to continue to engage in the world.
You know you best, even if you feel you don’t always ‘do your best’. You also know how to manage and navigate the rugged times in your life. So be gentle and unpack your emotions as best serves you. Just don’t pack them away, in a nice tight package that you don’t deal with. Keep unpacking it, one piece at a time, at your own pace. Be mindful of what is the most ‘doable’ for you.
But are you busy because you are trying to avoid connecting with how you feel? This is a big question. If you answer ‘yes’ to this (I have done the same), then my suggestion is to go at this slowly. You don’t need to slow to a halt, and you might have some adverse emotional responses if you do. Begin to feel, begin to allow yourself to look to yourself as though you are looking through a crack in a door, peer in, see what’s there, and slowly find your way towards it. If you like to pull off the band-aid quickly, then you may find it possible to swing the door open quickly. Just be gentle with yourself, whichever route you take. Allow yourself to see what’s holding you in the pattern of being ‘busy’.
If you are busy because you are going through something, then own it. Allow yourself to be occupied until you are ready to be with the pain that you are feeling. There is no time limit on this, but you will have to be discerning with the temptation to keep going as an avoidance mechanism. Just be aware, and don’t judge yourself.
Regardless of where you are, please be kind to yourself. You deserve as much kindness and love as you can get on this journey of life.
with love,
Noelle
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