If you are looking to make changes in your life, you will be scared. I’ve heard countless successful (in life, in business and in the sense of feeling whole) people say that they try to do something that scares them every day. For myself, I agree with this: almost every day, I do something that scares me. It can be something as seemingly inconsequential as engaging in conversation with someone while in line at the local café, or choosing to have a difficult conversation with a friend whom I felt wasn’t being kind to me. It can be something as profound as asking someone out on a date (this still intimidates me), starting a business, learning a new sport, going back to school or (for me) publishing my weekly Mindful Monday.
Let me dive into my previous comment about dating. For those of us that have had the privilege of dating as an adult, I have learned many things about this precarious and vulnerable act. Dating is scary because I put myself out there, and when I am rejected it feels like who I am, at my core, is not good enough. It is easier to avoid being vulnerable than to take the risk of asking someone out and possibly be rejected…gasp. But what is the worst thing about being rejected? That I’m not dating someone who isn’t keen on being with me? That sounds like I dodged a bad relationship and should instead be grateful for having been (and having felt) rejected.
If you don’t want to be scared, you can do everything in your power to control and manage the world around you; however, you will still be scared at times (because we can’t control everything) and fear comes from losing control. Being unable to manage an outcome can feel suffocating.
It seems that we have set our society up in a way that allows us to control outcomes. We want to understand the risks prior to exposing ourselves. I think that most of us get comfortable being comfortable, and we don’t like the feeling of shaking up our foundations. However, if you’re choosing to do the work it takes to be aware and conscious of how you are showing up in the world, and if you are tackling your limiting beliefs and your unhealthy relationship with yourself and choosing to evolve as a human, you will get uncomfortable daily.
What about the fear of feeling emotion? When we want to stay within our comfort zones, ultimately it means we don’t want to feel certain emotions, like the fear of failure, being rejected or thought of in any negative light by our peers and loved ones. When I enter into something that scares me, I ask myself what am I scared of. Then I break down the fear and remind myself I will not become any less of a person because I tried something that scares me, but I will become less of who I want to be by limiting myself from taking risks and staying within my comfort zone.
What if I told you that the side effects of taking risks in your life would gift you the following:
- you will become an easier going person because you’re not trying to control yourself or others;
- you will handle stressful situations with ease;
- you will make friends easier and will be able to jump into new opportunities comfortably because you’re experienced with putting yourself out there;
- you will learn that rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth;
- you will look and feel younger because when you stop holding yourself so tightly, your whole body will soften;
- you will have less stress in your life, because you’ll no longer be fearful of change;
- people will be more attracted to this easy going version of you; and,
- you will more honest with yourself and others because you’ll not be constantly protecting yourself by making up excuses.
This list could go on and on, but I think you get the message.
In what ways are you willing to step toward the things that scare you? Why do you avoid taking risks, and are you willing to let go of the excuses you’ve created? How would your life change if you decided to move toward the things that scare you the most?
I love hearing your stories, so please share if you feel drawn to.
Love
Noelle