With all the privileges we have in our world, especially in the Western world, we can become a bit numb to all the opportunities available to us.
First of all, have you established what it is that you want? I mean in the bigger picture. Relationships, career, children, house, vehicle, vacations, friends, health or financial, etc. The moment I started to look at my thoughts regarding any of those topics was the moment I started to become more awake to what I believed I deserved. Never questioning what I believed I deserved lead me down a road of unconscious beliefs floating carelessly in my mind. Whether they got instilled socially or by my family and friends, I had taken on ideas of what I thought I deserved which were frankly pretty meagre. Turns out that when I started to unpack what I thought I wanted and deserved, I really had low expectations for myself.
Then I went through a stage of believing those who wanted or accomplished big things for themselves were either a) lucky b) better than me or c) evil (because those who covet large financial gain are clearly not spiritual. I can’t believe I thought that!). That’s it – all of my beliefs of being undeserving fell into one of those three categories.
I decided I needed to get clear on what I wanted for myself. I let my imagination go wild with possibility. When my limiting stories would pop up, I would remind myself that I am capable of dreaming anything I want and that the first step is to really let myself imagine instead of think about how I wanted my life to look. I began to understand that everything I had already created in my life was from a place of dreaming my thoughts into reality. I have spent my life dreaming into reality some pretty awesome experiences, but within those experiences, I had this runaway thought pattern that kept me from achieving the things that were so much bolder then my own self worth. I had been unconscious and that kept me small.
In your own life, if you look at what you believe to be true – from what you are capable of achieving career-wise to your own living situation – do you find yourself being certain on your ideas? Do you notice yourself attempting to convince yourself and others of stories that are innately limiting? Are you even trying to push your limiting ideas on those around you and noticing your reaction when others resist fitting into the boxes you’ve built? That is a true sign that you are drinking your own Kool-aid. Being discerning with your thoughts is tremendously important to facilitating a life you want.
Do you believe you deserve what you want? Or do you make conclusions that run a thought theme like, “So many people have become successful at the one thing I am incredibly passionate about, and there is no room left for me”?
Do you say things like, “I’ll end up failing anyway,” “I don’t deserve that,” “I am not worthy of love because I have too many faults,” “I am not smart/skilled/talented enough,” “I want children but I wouldn’t be a good parent,” or “I’ll never find the perfect partner to parent with,” “I have to do everything on my own because no one else does it well enough,” or “No one helps me”? I imagine you get it. There is an endless list of undeserving thoughts that we are all capable of running in our minds like a broken record that keeps us from achieving our own potentials.
The antidote? Start believing in your own dreams. The skill that I have built is the ability to be my own cheerleader, to constantly encourage myself, to remind myself that I am my own best supporter. That being rejected for a job, by a partner, by failing in business or in investments is not a sign that I should give up. It’s a sign I need to become an even bigger advocate for myself. If I feel a deep longing for what I want to achieve, create or experience, I am the only one who can make those things happen. Allow rejection to strengthen your resolve to achieve the things in your life you want instead of using it as an excuse to give up.
Make a change today. Write down all the things you have wanted in life, and then draw an arrow with the thought that follows that thought. Is it a supportive pattern of thinking or is it an unimpressive dialogue defeating your ideas? If you find you have a list that is filled with self talk that keeps you from achieving your dreams, then imagine what you would want someone to say to you to encourage you, and change the next thought to one that supports your initial desire. This is a practice that I continue to do because as years go by, my dreams evolve with experiences and achievements or failures. I keep revisiting the ways I try to hold myself back so that I can remain a positive agent of creation in my own life.
I believe you can do the same! Become your own biggest supporter.
with love,
Noelle
Do You Believe You Deserve Your Dreams?
