I get defensive when someone tells me I’m controlling, in part because this is an area of deep work for me. When I hear it, I fall into having disgusted feelings about myself. Mainly that I’m a bad human and no one is going to want to be around someone who's...
What happens to unattended agitation in our body?
One day I realized I was constantly feeling agitated and disappointed. Maybe I should say that I had woken up to my own pattern, I realized this isn’t who I wanted to be. I had become comfortably pessimistic, seeing the world through a tainted lens, losing faith in...
The most revolutionary quote I’ve heard in a long time.
Someone I cared for deeply told me that when I used the word boundaries, they found it offensive. I remember how I tried to convince them that it was a healthy word and helped people establish strong relationships with themselves and others. Although for many reasons...
Why does the word accountability feel heavy?
You know that moment when someone’s disappointed you — your heart drops, and the disbelief feels almost suffocating? Depending on our life experiences, some of us may feel this when someone cancels a coffee date. Others may feel it when they find out they’ve been...
Here’s why you’re a warrior
Being a warrior is not something anointed or bestowed upon you. The images of warriors we see in Hollywood films create an idea of a hero that’s unattainable for mere mortals. They’re represented as having obscene amounts of strength, heroic confidence, charisma and...
Is acceptance the path to peace?
I originally wrote this in April 2020, but as we enter into another tumultuous time, that's even more divisive than I could have ever imagined at the time of writing this, I feel it's an appropriate reminder to all of us - especially right now. In a time that is like...
The difference between running on empty or full
When I say a half-empty or half-full type of person, what do you believe you are? If we saw ourselves through these character types it might be oversimplifying but it could help us see ourselves more clearly. I don’t want to minimize the complexity of our lives and...
Does this make you uncomfortable?
Early this spring, I took my daughter’s bike out of winter storage. She was so excited to be riding again. After school one day as she headed down a steep hill, she got the speed wobbles and fell face first into the payment. I got the call as she was on her way to the...
Can we repair the hurt that we’ve experienced this year?
Currently it feels like humanity is crumbling from within and it's very values and systems are being questioned. As always, there’s immense value in restructuring systems that are no longer working, yet this constant shaming and cancelling of people, businesses and...
How do we manage our pandemic fatigue?
We are experiencing a wild explosion of justifiable pandemic exhaustion . Clearly, something isn’t working, and there’s a radical amount of finger pointing and frustration. I’m curious if we can find ways to support ourselves and each other that allow for us to move...