Being gentle with yourself is an easy concept to understand but a challenging practice to put in place. For most of us, our minds can be an unfriendly territory. We have a tendency to be incredibly critical, judgmental and comparative. It is easy to fall into the belief that we need to do and be more.
The concept of needing to ‘be more’ is becoming increasingly relevant. In a world that is directed by constant updates in social media, we live with the pressure to be more, own more, be more successful, get more exercise, be more creative, travel more, be a better parent, have more friends and do more for our friends. It is easy to fall into comparison and become self-critical. It is difficult to be tender and accepting of ourselves.
But, remember: you are constantly meeting parts of yourself that you have been at war with.
In order to be gentler with yourself, you will need to soften, slow down and create space without distractions and ‘to do’ lists. You will need to get quiet. It may be, in the moment, that you witness yourself being unkind and critical of where you are in your life. Gently take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you are enough, just as you are.
Learning to be gentler with yourself includes having mindful practices. Perhaps for you this is yoga, meditation, tai chi, solitude in nature, a slower pace, at least eight hours of sleep a night, nourishing food or deliberate moments of connecting with your breath. The four most important daily practices that can help you create a container of gentleness are:
- Prioritizing self care
- Setting boundaries with your time
- Getting enough sleep
- Breathing mindfully
I often reminisce with friends about how less than ten years ago we didn’t have social media and most of us weren’t obsessed with technology. We had more space and we were less anxious; we lived in a much different world. Things have changed rapidly and that rapid acceleration is creating a society of people that are more depressed and isolated than ever before in history. According to the world health organization it is the leading cause of disability worldwide. You can read more on one of the reports the World Health Organization published here: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression
If you are comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing and fixating on social media, considering evaluating which parts of technology benefit your life and which parts do not.
If your schedule is overflowing, you can decide to cancel an obligation in order to tend to your sweet self. Gentleness is a learned skill, it is not a given; it is something you will have to work at. It takes conscious choice to prioritize compassion for your mind and body.
Being gentle doesn’t mean isolating yourself for long periods of time. It means being humane and considerate to your tender soul. The only way to bring peace to a war zone is with radical kindness and compassion. Are you willing to prioritize yourself?
With a tender heart,
Noelle
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