Our desire to be liked is linked with our not living for ourselves. It is a symptom of choosing to live based on the judgements of others instead of living in our own authentic lives.
Recently, I had an amazing opportunity: I was able to see Barak Obama speak live. What makes this even more extraordinary was that almost exactly a year before, I heard Michelle Obama speak. For her talk, I sat third row center; she was right in front of me. Both experiences were exceptional. The wave of energy I felt when each of them walked on stage was like nothing I have ever felt before. I experienced a cocktail of admiration, awe, respect and disbelief as I found myself sitting in rooms with two people that I have so much appreciation for. I was so overcome with my emotions that my tears spoke for me.
The reason I respect them, individually and as a couple, is because they both came from nothing. They built lives based on unimaginable opportunities solely because – at the core – they had visions for a better world and they believed they could help create it. Underscored by an unwavering commitment to share from a place of love, their mission led them to step into the (arguably) most powerful and impactful roles on the globe. They could only achieve this because they were able to be comfortable with not being liked and with having their lives exposed on the world stage in very vulnerable ways.
Most of us are not risking our lives (or our children’s lives) if we follow our dreams and find the courage to speak our truths. With that understanding, what is holding you back from having a voice and living your life for you? Whose judgment scares you?
As you are aware, I run a business, teach yoga, life coach and publish a weekly blog while dabbling in motivational speaking. Most of my world is about me standing in front of people and speaking my truth. I speak openly with the teachers at my studio about how challenging it is for us to find our voices as teachers. I discuss having the ability to teach without reciting other people’s words, but by using courage to find our own. To speak our truth and to offer insights and teachings that move beyond scripture and come from deep within. To not react to the eye roles, the yawns or the disinterested looks. It takes strength from within to establish energetic boundaries. When we see someone’s disinterest, we choose to stay on course instead of shifting our plan to make that one person feel better.
The reason I am so inspired by the Obamas is because both of them have had the courage to believe in their capacity to be an agent of change in this world. They have used the privilege of being human and found opportunities to be agents of change. That they have put themselves (over and over) in position to be judged, ridiculed, and put down for their ideas and decisions. This is a brave beyond what I yet know in myself.
If you have read my work, you know that I am an advocate for creating inner change and finding ways to be more kind, compassionate, empathetic, vulnerable and brave. I believe ‘showing up’ and doing our inner work is a way to strengthen our missions in this world. That is what I advocate for. At the foundation of my mission is the opportunity to strengthen my own love, for myself, so I can spread kindness through my work (even when I am direct and my messages are not well received).
So here is the question: what is your passion? What lights up your heart? How do you want to make the people around you feel? Understanding these concepts will help you with your mission; they will be the north stars to your goals in life. This will also help eradicate the doubt and judgement you hear from others. It will help you follow your heart and allow you to cease caring so much about what someone else might think of you. It will give you the courage to start your own business, to ask someone out, to take on volunteering for an organization that calls to you, to open your heart without fear of being hurt, to support someone who needs help, to be honest about your sexual orientation or to offer an idea that is against popular opinion.
Who is someone in the world that you admire? Find ways to channel their courage by stepping up in your own life and owning your desires by choosing to living a life that is authentic to you. By being courageous to be you. That is it. Find the courage to be you, and don’t listen to anyone who wants to tell you that you are not worthy for being you. You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You will only be criticized by those who are doing less.
Go on: be you, all of you, and grab your backpack full of courage.
with love
Noelle
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