What is honesty for you? Seriously. Have a think on this. Are you being honest with yourself? I mean, let’s be honest here: if we are going to be honest in the world, it starts being truthful with ourselves.
In the dictionary’s definition of honesty, it states “they spoke with convincing honesty about their fears.” When I read that, it really made me slow down and consider what that means for my own life.
I recall when I first had my daughter, and I was seriously sleep-deprived, dealing with postpartum anxiety. Basically, a hot mess. I could barely hold conversations, let alone think straight. I knew one thing for sure: the “mom” friends I surrounded myself with needed to be honest and upfront. Some of these moms, responding with a (desperate) high-pitched “I’m great” whenever they were asked about how they were doing, basically closed the door on any conversation about what was really going on for them. They became women and mothers I couldn’t be around. I needed honesty. It was too brutal for me as a new mom to pretend that everything was OK because it absolutely wasn’t.
I was being honest with myself then. But if am being honest with myself now, I am still learning to be more clear, open and forthright. I continue to offer myself to work, projects, events and people that don’t feel right. I can have a tendency to disconnect from the part of myself that knows better. It does not mean those people, work, projects and events are not great but they are just not great for me right now.
I still attach to my ego and allow ego-based insecurities to direct my decision making instead of the wisdom inside that can save me from my desire to be liked, right, or perceived as kind and open. Using insecurities as my guidance system never ends up well. As soon as I recognize that my self-doubt is directing me, I am more capable of making intelligent choices. That is the first step of being honest: being willing to look at why you really do (or want to do) the things you do.
If you are lonely, learn to recognize that you are lonely. That way you can see the decisions you make based on that emotion. Same goes if you are in pain, sad, depressed or angry. Or struggling with the same conflicts over and over again. If you are unhappy in your job or with your partner, it’s time to be honest with yourself because we can’t change anything in our lives until we take that step and become willing to look at and listen to ourselves with the same kind of attention we devote to the world outside of us. If we constantly place blame externally, we are living in disillusionment. We create what we experience.
When we are honest we can seek support, so be honest about the stories you tell yourself. Watch all the stories that float in your mind and notice how you’ll want to make those true by aligning your decisions with them.
Honesty brings more inner peace, calm, sense of groundedness, deeper friendships and more brilliant connection with our partners.
Honesty and truthfulness is a lifelong investment in self.
with love
Noelle
Being Honest
