From the time we are little children, people start asking, “What do you want to be?”. Eager ears listen and expect answers like ‘firefighter, dog walker, doctor, swimmer, teacher, etc.’ From an early age we get fixated on measuring success by our accomplishments rather than by who we are as people.
When were you ever asked who you want to be? How you want to show up in your life – for yourself and others? Do you want to be kind, respectful, generous, attentive, supportive, loving, mindful or non-reactive? Would you like to have the inner strength to pick yourself up after enduring unimaginable pain, and look around for rainbows instead of storm clouds? To be gentle with the suffering of others? To be non-judgmental? Patient with yourself and with others? Courageous? Or lead a life that is filled with helping others, our communities and neighbours, instead of focused on ourselves and our own gains.
Instead of taking pictures of ourselves constantly doing ‘cool’ things, what if we used our energy and mission to support causes that help create positive change in the world?
I heard former American vice president (now president elect) Joe Biden quote that his mother said, “Courage is the virtue that made all the others possible.” I agree. I believe courage is a quality that allows us to decide who we want to be instead of responding out of fear or pain.
It takes courage to love passionately, to open up to someone and trust that giving your love to them won’t break you if it doesn’t end well. It takes courage to respond to hate with love. It takes courage to listen instead of speak. It takes courage to decide you will say something when you see a stranger being victimized for their gender, race or social beliefs. It takes courage to create change in your life and to make huge changes globally and in your community. It takes courage to listen to your own intuition instead of being persuaded by social expectations or by what others think. It takes courage to choose who you want to be.
How do you want to be defined? Who around you do you admire? What traits do they possess that you would like to exemplify?
If we think about who we want to be, then we can stop worrying about immediately gratifying outcomes and we look at our lives as the day-to-day creation of our own legacies.
At any moment, you can choose to become anyone you want to be. At any point, you can change. You can decide to be kinder or willing to see someone else’s perspective. You can be willing to demonstrate your capacity to change.
This week, challenge yourself. Answer the following four questions. Put them on your bathroom mirror, in your wallet, at your desk, or anywhere that you will receive the daily reminders.
1) What traits do you admire in others?
2) What traits do you already have that you’re proud of?
3) What do you want to be known for in this lifetime?
4) What trait are you going to work on building, starting today?
What would happen to our society if we stopped spending our time on social media, gossip and outward successes and used our time to support social, political and global causes? Instead of being insular with our social circles, what if we understood that getting uncomfortable actually makes us a better person and that staying in our comfort zone diminishes our potential? How do you want to look back at your life? What would make your life memorable? How do you want to feel every day, what feelings would satiate your soul? Understanding that a successful life is built on the small uncategorized moments, instead of glorious social accolades. It’s who you want to be instead of what you want to be that will make the biggest impact in your life and the world.
with love, Noelle