Our desire to be liked can be linked with not living for ourselves. It is a symptom of choosing to live based on the judgements of others instead of living our own authentic lives.
I have learned that those who learn to make choices for themselves, and find the courage to move beyond the judgement of others can make a big impact in their own lives and in the lives of others. There is a level of resiliency that they have developed, that helps them remember their own thoughts are way more valuable than the criticism of others. It is a sort of tenacity, a strength that is built from within.
I had the amazing opportunity to hear Barack Obama speak live: What made this even more extraordinary was that almost exactly a year before, I had also heard Michelle Obama speak. During her talk, I had sat third row centre; she was essentially right in front of me. Both experiences were exceptional. The wave of energy I felt when each of them walked on stage was like nothing I have ever felt before. I experienced a cocktail of admiration, awe, respect and disbelief as I found myself sitting near two people I greatly appreciate. I was so overcome with emotion that my tears spoke for me.
The reason I respect them, individually and as a couple, is because they both came from nothing. They built lives based on unimaginable opportunities solely because – at the core – they had visions for a better world and they believed they could help create it. Underscored by an unwavering commitment to share from a place of love, their missions led them to step into (arguably) the most powerful and impactful roles on the globe. They could only achieve this because they believed in their vision wholeheartedly that they were able to risk not being liked and chose to be unwaveringly vulnerable. Their mission ended up exposing many aspects of their lives and beliefs on the world stage.
Most of us are not risking our lives (or our children’s lives) if we follow our dreams and find the courage to follow our dreams. With that understanding, what is holding you back from having a voice and living your life for you? Whose judgment scares you?
Professionally, I run a business, teach yoga, life coach, facilitate retreats and trainings and publish a weekly blog while dabbling in motivational speaking. I often find myself standing in front of people speaking my truth and living a life different than any example I was given growing up.
I speak openly with the teachers at my studio about how challenging it is for us, as teachers, to find our voices. I discuss having the ability to teach without reciting other people’s words. I encourage us all to find the courage to speak our own words, to voice our truths and offer insights and teachings that move beyond scripture and come from deep within. To not react to the eye roles, yawns or disinterested looks. It takes strength from within to establish energetic boundaries. When we see someone’s disinterest we must choose to stay on course instead of shifting our plan to make that one person feel better.
The reason I am so inspired by the Obamas is because they have had the courage to believe in their capacities to be agents of change. They have used the privilege of being human and found opportunities to be of service in the world. They have put themselves (over and over) in position to be judged, ridiculed and put down for their ideas and decisions. This is brave beyond what I yet know in myself.
I am an advocate for creating inner change and finding ways to be more kind, compassionate, empathetic, vulnerable and brave. I believe that by showing up and doing our inner work we can strengthen our missions in this world. I am a proponent for this. At the foundation of my mission is the opportunity to strengthen my love for myself so I am able to spread kindness through my work.
So here are the questions: What is your passion? What lights up your heart? How do you want to make the people around you feel? Understanding these concepts will help you with your mission; they will be the north stars to guide you toward your goals in life. They will help eradicate the doubt and judgement you hear from others. They will allow you to follow your heart and cease caring about what someone else might think of you. They will give you the courage to start your own business, to ask someone out, to volunteer for an organization that calls to you, to open your heart without fear of being hurt, to support someone who needs help, to be honest about your sexual orientation or to offer an idea that is against popular opinion.
Who is someone that you admire? Find ways to channel their courage by stepping up in your own life and owning your desires. Choose to live a life that is authentic to you by being courageous enough to be you. That is it. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you are not worthy of being you. You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You will only be criticized by those who are doing less.
Go on: be you, all of you, and grab your backpack full of courage.
with love
Noelle