Mindful Monday with Noelle Bovon
I hadn’t showered in days. I was lying alone in my bed, feeling like a mess. I was trying desperately to shift my life. The life I had created wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I felt beat down and unworthy. I was alone and I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could turn to. I wanted to bury myself in bed and hide, yet there was a small voice in my head that kept telling me I needed to keep going and trust that I would find my way. It wouldn’t always be like this, but if I was going to get to where I wanted to go I would have to be brave and keep getting uncomfortable in order to get there.
That was a few years ago, it was one of the hardest times of my life. There were moments when I wanted to give up, to let go and not fight for the things I wanted. I knew that if gave up I would regret it. I also knew that if I followed my heart and the small voice in my head that kept saying “you get to create your life” and “your life is not over” I would slowly find my way. I used those words as a reminder to keep going.
When we are kids, we are constantly learning new things, learning how to interact, learning new skills, learning how to move our bodies, learning musical instruments and learning about love and loss. Kids constantly fumble and pick themselves up over and over again. What I find interesting is that as we get older, there are people who think we should have it all figured out. I think it happens around the time we leave school, whether it is postsecondary school or not. There is the perspective that at that point you should have your life sorted out; you are no longer allowed to fail or be unclear about the direction you want to go.
We may even stop seeking mentorship or guidance from our elders, and may even become entitled and righteous in our certainty about ourselves.
When we are younger, we understand that learning new skills is hard. We understand that we will have to work hard to achieve the things we want. At some point that wisdom seems to leave us, we stop trying new things, we use excuses like “I am too old for that” or “I can’t do that anymore”. Some of us forget that life is a continuous learning and we can learn new skills in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond. We are not meant to have it all figured out and we are certainly not meant to stop challenging ourselves.
When we stop challenging ourselves, we stop living a full life. We stop experiencing new things and we get stuck in keeping things the same just because they feel familiar and safe. For whatever reason, most people would rather be comfortable in the known than uncomfortable in the unknown.
Doing something unknown and new is scary, to all of us. However, some of us are more comfortable with the unknown. When we push ourselves to go for the job, to commit to learning a new sport, to go back to school or to try something that feels foreign, we break the mould of being stuck in our own limiting beliefs about our lives. It is hard to learn a new skill and it feels scary. It is easy to say “why am I doing this, this is crazy”, but wouldn’t you rather a life of getting uncomfortable than living a life that is always the same, week after week, year after year? Letting go of controlling the everyday allows us to grow beyond our wildest dreams.
Your growth might come from meeting new people, getting the career you had only dreamed of, competing in a sport that is new to you and learning what you are physically capable of, improving your current relationships and finding a sense of joy and contentment (aka happiness).
Just because it is hard does not mean it always will be. When you are courageous enough to live the life you want you will constantly put yourself in situations that are challenging.
Are you challenging yourself? What have you done lately that has taught you that you are braver than you realized?
Please share your stories with me
Love
Noelle