How much time have you wasted blaming life events and situations on other people?
It took me a long time to recognize the benefits of the ‘painful events’ in my life that were happening for me, not to me. Those experiences have helped shape me into the person I am today. I have become more trusting, patient and generous, and a stronger and kinder person (I am far from perfect, but I am a long way from whom I once was). I used to blame others for my experiences. I gave away my power, because it felt like I had to have control when I believed the story was an affront to the sovereignty of my inner peace. It took time for me to begin to digest the idea that everything was happening ‘for’ me, instead of ‘to’ me.
What if your broken heart was teaching you that you are capable of loving again, even after being hurt? If someone has broken a bond of trust, this not teaching you not to trust again, but perhaps to be more discerning in whom you trust. The lesson could be to recognize your self worth isn’t captured by the person who hurt you – your ability to be trusting is your ability to trust yourself to make different choices as you move forward. If you lose someone close, the lesson is not to be guarded and stop living, but rather to recognize the infinite connection we have with loved ones, even when they are not here on Earth. It might be the guide you need to become more joyful and take more risks; the lesson is understanding that this life is precious.
There is a lot of talk about the law of attraction these days, but I believe the interpretation of it can be misguided. If something doesn’t come easily to you, or if you don’t get that job, or that date, it is not the universe trying to tell you that is not right for you. But it may be an opportunity for you to decide how much you want it, and whether you are willing to work hard and put in time to work towards your goal.
There are times when it doesn’t work out for the better, but there are also times when we are called to stand taller and believe in ourselves with more fierceness if we are to achieve what we want in life.
Either way, it’s not about believing the choice is out of your hands; it is choosing to see that you have a choice. Whether it is the direction you want to go, or how much you are going to give of yourself or that you can choose to let it go, the power is all within you.
The stories that make up your life are here to give you teachings. The dramas, heartaches, loves, challenges, joys, as well as the courage, vulnerability and expectations, are all offerings. They are on offer so you can trust yourself, rather than assume you have no control. Recognize that you are not here to hold onto the reins of life and get tossed around, but to find your way gracefully on the seat of your journey, and to choose to harness your power instead of giving it away.
I see it often: good people dealing with hard experiences in life, and blaming others for the experiences, even years later. They give over their sense of worthiness, and choose to feel dark inside because they have decided that blaming someone else is more important then looking at what was gifted to them. We struggle to see that life is happening for us when we keep living in a defensive place and believe things are happening to us.
Someone else’s judgement of you is an opportunity to become more of who you are, and to trust in yourself more than in the opinions and judgments others toss your way. Their judgement is not your truth, unless you make it so.
It is time to choose wisely, to begin to shift perspective. To see how to stop giving away control, and become softer and more awake in your own experiences. To regain your inner balance by giving up the sense of control you get from blaming others and own your own experiences.
There is no time like the present.
with love
Noelle
Is It Possible That Everything Is Happening For You?
