Apparently Gen Z has 2.7 seconds of attention span, way shorter than previous generations, a comparable is in 2004 attentions spans were 2.5 minutes.
When my daughter was born, I began to lose my ability to focus. The lack of sleep made me unable to concentrate on reading, writing clear and concise emails, staying on task, and being present.
The habit that took relatively little time to create is taking years to break. The most shocking thing is how we all take part in modeling distraction and unconsciously contribute to perpetuate this system.
At work I’m often using multiple modes of communication, including my cell phone for texting, emails, and social media. I find it shocking that many people will try to engage my attention when I’m clearly focused on something else. Because I’ve been dealing with this for years, I either do not respond until I’m done with what I’m doing or I say, “ Just let me finish what I’m doing.”
I’ve had to explain the concept of allowing someone to finish a task to many of the staff who have worked with me. It’s interesting how we act, how we only think about what we want to communicate and not look at the big picture of what’s happening. If I’m doing something, including working on my computer, I’m focused on a task and you need to wait for me to finish.
Not only is this polite, it’s recognizing that we’re not more important than the task at hand.
As I get older, I notice this is harder and harder for younger generations to wrap their minds around (but it’s not limited to ‘younger people’). They’re so used to being distracted it’s normal to not respect someone else’s focal point.
Even when I’m on my device in the grocery store, people will come up and start talking to me and expect me to respond immediately without honouring that I was in the process of doing something.
Phones at the dinner table, phones in hands when connecting with someone. Phones in bathrooms, phones in bed, phones in between the sheets, sifting through the hours of our days with distractive behaviour is normal. It’s no longer normal to allow someone to focus on a singular task. We don’t prioritize this in ourselves. It’s no longer normal to be patient, to take a moment, to sit in the discomfort of quiet.
Think of the last time you saw someone hurt themselves, what happened immediately? People often rush in saying, “Are you OK?”, and there’s no moment to regroup and check in to see how we’re feeling because someone else needs their anxieties soothed before we can even figure out if we need soothing.
When our kids come up to us as parents and we drop everything because they need our attention, not only does this impact our minds and nervous system but also, if we’re talking to someone, it signifies that we care more about attending to needy behaviour than honouring the conversation and person we’re with.
By no longer making our kids wait we’re teaching them their needs are more important than everything else’s. They don’t learn patience, respect, or the ability to read a room. Interrupting and disrespecting other people’s time is a behaviour that’s rewarded simply by responding.
Focus should be something we encourage, honour, and respect and help support. We’re losing essential brain health, we’re losing the ability to sit in discomfort, we’re losing the ability to wait and be quiet.
We need to honour each other and recognize our needs aren’t the only thing that matters.
You know what happens to a child that grows up without clarity around people’s attention? They become young adults who live with anxiety because they can’t tolerate the moments that they don’t have the answer. They haven’t developed patience or the ability to allow for spaciousness. In a workplace, they are more frenetic and distractible. They likely have a hard time producing quality work or being able to take initiative because they haven’t learned how to problem solve.
As older adults, today, we get tired with the constant distractions. Our nervous systems are constantly in flux and we find ourselves needing to recover. We use distractive behaviour to attend to the feelings of frustration and distraction in our own systems. When we use these behaviours to recover from feeling distracted all the time, it takes more wattage from our tired selves and devolves our cognitive abilities.
The antidote to this is to spend more concentrated time in focus, to be clear with those around us about not constantly bidding for our attention and allow us space to focus. Even if it’s in five-minute intervals, just giving yourself time to complete a task without distraction – from emptying the dishwasher to having a conversation or closing your door at the office for one hour. Creating time for deep focus is essential.
Try it for this week, or even for today, and see how you feel at the end of the day/week. I bet you’ll feel like you have more energy and ability to take in information and the life that is happening around you.
love, Noelle