Currently it feels like humanity is crumbling from within and it’s very values and systems are being questioned. As always, there’s immense value in restructuring systems that are no longer working, yet this constant shaming and cancelling of people, businesses and ideas is destructive. We should be very worried. Forget about the virus; look at the ways we have been tearing apart the fabric of kindness consistently and irreverently. The way we’ve pitted ourselves against others. .
Who do we want to be? Do we want to come out of this thinking we’re better than one another? Do we want to believe that we’re better because of the science we believe in, the food we eat, the pills we take, the politics we subscribe to? This model of humanity has been part of us since time immemorial; it has always created division. It hasn’t just not worked, it’s created wars, enemies, entitlement and white privilege.
We must decide who we want to be when we come out of this, and we have to start acting now. Looking to the negative to believe we’re better is as addictive as sugar and we’re consuming thais behavior obsessively. The question of ‘who is smarter’ is growing old. I’m not suggesting we sit back and follow blindly, or not have clear boundaries, but if we don’t prioritize treating each other well, being patient and aspiring to make the world a better place, we’ll destroy humanity far beyond the effects of any virus because we won’t have the emotional health to rebuild relationships afterwards.
The cliché phrase loving yourself is about loving the parts of yourself that hurt, struggle and battle with other people’s ideas, choices and actions. There are injustices we need to fight against, but it’s as if we’ve made everyone an individual injustice and it’s simply not productive. Choosing to love others means not thinking we’re better than anyone else. We can take action for injustices, but we can’t habitually tear each other apart. What’s worth demolishing ours or another’s well being?
What do you want our culture to look like in five years? Is this it?
We all need to stop waging war with fear and one another. If we think our idealized version of what’s right or wrong is worth tearing apart our relationships, we will continue to live in this toxic paradigm of discontent and hurt.
Can we find a truth that isn’t fear based? Couldn’t we be courageous and speak up to something that doesn’t insight fear? Inspire in some new dialogue, learn the language of patience and non-reactivity? Anything that makes us fearful and scared isn’t going to heal us, I feel pretty certain about that.
Things are awkward and uncomfortable right now, and normally when things feel that way a good dose of humor helps – wouldn’t it be great to cut through the tension with some laughter? We all know that laughter is healing and takes the edge out of life. Or what if you could step closer to someone who is feeling tense and look them in the eyes and say “I know this is hard” instead of running away and lamenting to someone else what an idiot that person is?
If we do not sort out our desire for power (the definition for power I’m referring to is the desire to be right or belittle someone’s thoughts or ideas so we feel better; a lack of empathy; not listening just reacting) we’re going to the destroy hope, courage and gentleness in so many people.
“You can’t be what you can’t see. And I say, you can’t see what you don’t dare to dream. We are all homesick for a place humanity has never been before. It is up to us to dream that place into being.” (Elizaebeth Lesser from her book, Cassandra Speaks)
If we don’t start behaving in the ways we dream our world could look like we’re going to continue down the trap of unmanaged and unhealed pain, which creates more disconnection and lacks humility. I want to scream this from my soap box; I want us to see how we have to come together because global warming isn’t the only thing that’s killing our planet. We’re willfully doing it with our anger and rage. If we can’t be tender with others how are we ever going to be compassionate to our Earth? I desire to forge past my darkest thoughts and most uncomfortable feelings and extend my sovereignty of patience, laughter and ability to create peace. I constantly fail at this, but it’s what I keep working on.
This is the hard road: learning to lean in and smile when we want to throw daggers.
“All too often our so-called strength comes from fear and not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front shielding a weak spine. In other words, we walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence. If we strengthen our backs, metaphorically speaking, and develop a spine that’s flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that’s soft and open, representing compassion. The place in your body where these two meet – strong back and soft front – is the brave, tender ground in which to deeply root our caring”. Roshi Joan Halifax
I pray that we can find union with heart. If we’re going to heal the planet we must first learn to heal our relationships with each other.
with love, Noelle